In theory, you would have thought I’d be happy they were leaving. I mean, I scored a lot of swag over the last few weeks as my next-door neighbors frantically cleaned out their house so they could pull up stakes and move to Hong Kong this past weekend. They needed to clear out for another family inRead more…
Here is the downside of going out nine times in ten days: you don’t really get a lot of stuff done. And while I’ve amassed about a book’s-worth of stories – oh my god, do I have some good stories – I can’t really write about most of them. I mean, you can call meRead more…
My two daughters came into my room this morning to find me lying on my bed, typing on my laptop. “Mom, are you wearing real clothes?” one of them asked, and she started to inspect the strange pleated pants I was wearing that I bought at Athleta recently and had really taken a cotton to.Read more…
It’s official: The end of the world is right around the corner. How do I know this? Because I just learned about a new show on VH-1 called Dating Naked, and if that is not a sign that civilization is about to implode, I do not know what is. I’ll be honest, I have notRead more…
“Okay, Mom,” said my 17-year-old daughter, totally out of the blue not long ago. “How ugly is this guy?” We had been lying around our den one afternoon – along with her older sister and best friend from across the street – laughing and chatting about nothing in particular, when she asked her question. IRead more…
Bummed you missed last week’s hot ticket? I know, I wish I went to see Beyonce at MetLife Stadium, too. And after you finish Googling videos of her performing “Single Ladies” and “Crazy in Love” in NJ last week, check out the show I put on in a slightly smaller Garden State venue. Here’s myRead more…
For the three of you left who haven’t heard the news, last week I got to pretend for one night that I was a successful writer. And it was great. Some friends had thought it would be fun to invite a bunch of people to come hear me read some of my work in hopesRead more…
This is a funny story: I was sitting at my kitchen island one night last week watching Jeopardy and eating dinner with my 21-year-old son when a commercial came on for the new Diane Keaton movie called “And So It Goes.” Son (putting down pizza bagel, annoyed): What is with this woman? Me (looking upRead more…
My ex-husband and I finally and completely called it quits on our marriage on July 4, 2009. Afterwards, even though he was the one who pushed me off the steep cliff of indecision, he sent me a text wishing me a “Happy Independence Day.” And while that was kind of a snarky thing to write,Read more…
I don’t know what it’s like at your house, but over here it’s Game of Fucking Thrones without all the nudity. It’s like, everybody wants to rule the world, and I’m just waiting for my head to roll. As such, everyone who lives here is embroiled in a non-stop power struggle in an effort toRead more…
