Credit: VH-1

Credit: VH-1

It’s official: The end of the world is right around the corner.

How do I know this? Because I just learned about a new show on VH-1 called Dating Naked, and if that is not a sign that civilization is about to implode, I do not know what is.

I’ll be honest, I have not watched – nor do I ever intend to – watch the show. I am basing everything on reviews I read about it in The Times and New York Magazine. And I still feel dirty.

I mean, isn’t dating bad enough? Isn’t it hard enough to have to sit at a bar and worry about exposing how many kids you have to your date, much less the state of your abdomen?

And, honestly, what woman really wants to see a guy’s junk right away? I mean, no offense, but that’s a visual really best left to the imagination.

For second date fun-and-games on this new show, couples actually have to move around naked and do stuff like roll around in the ocean in a giant see-through ball and body painting (I don’t even have the stomach to tell you which body part one of the gentlemen uses to create, ahem, art).

Credit: VH-1

Credit: VH-1

But of course, these contestants – or however we need to refer to them – are not middle-aged divorcees but generally folks in their 20s and 30s. I guess they didn’t go to 12 years of Catholic school and feel really good about walking around naked. But still.

It takes a lot of courage to put your heart out there, even in a turtleneck. Why would you want to up the vulnerability ante by doing so naked?

And who would want to watch that?

Credit: VH-1

Credit: VH-1

 

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Dating Naked: The End of the World as We Know It

  1. I too, stumbled upon this travesty the other night. Unfortunately, though, I was not graced with the blessed distance you’re able to maintain through the NY Times. I actually saw it while flipping channels.

    It was like a train wreck. Horrifying, bewildering, but I stared, slack-jawed, unable to look away. I called my oldest into the room and her eyes went wide. “Mom, what the f*** is this? You don’t like porn!” I told her what it was, and it was too much for her 22 year old brain. She just shook her head, rolled her eyes, and muttered “For F***’S sake!” as she stalked from my room.

    I swapped the channel, with no desire to ever watch it again, but apparently, there is an audience, as this is the third such show I’ve since learned about. “Buying Naked” shows couples house hunting naked, and “Naked and Afraid” drops naked couples into the wilderness for several days to live in the elements.

    If this is our new society, I think we’re just better off cutting our losses and letting it go!

    • I have no doubt that if I stumbled upon the show while flipping through the channels, I would be like a deer caught in the headlights, unable to escape the scary glow. Like when my girls are watching the Kardashians. I make fun of it and then have to watch just one more episode to see what happens. I cannot believe there are other “naked” shows. What’s next: The Naked Chef? Maybe a naked game show? Crazytown …

      • I think the Naked Chef would have to have aprons, though. Deep frying anything while certain parts are uncovered could be rather painful. =)

        How about naked news anchors? The weather people would have extra things with which to point. *snork*

  2. There’s zero chance in hell I would ever do this or have done this, even in my skinny 20s. I REALLY wouldn’t want to hang a picture I painted with my lady parts in my living room either.

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